a fast 2 days

Over the past two days I have been on a crazy emotional and physical roller coaster ride. So I must share that I am so exhausted my face may hit the keyboard at any moment. As I shared in my last post it started with huge PRAISES!! Right after the ultrasound we headed out for the homicide trial. We dropped the kids off with a friend. The kids were so happy they asked when we were leaving for the hotel. Where is the love?! We have been so blessed with some awesome friends! Next, my wonderful husband surprised me with a stay at a bed and breakfast. It was so perfect! We even got to pick the room we wanted to stay in. After unloading our stuff we went out to a nice dinner and I was able to talk through all the information I would been questioned on tomorrow. We did find some time to remember the last 5 years of our marriage too. It was so amazing to have so time away from the kiddos. We went back to the bed and breakfast and enjoyed a night by our little flickering fire place. It is sorta funny to think that the courts paid for our anniversary celebration. That night I didn't sleep a wink. I remember looking at the clock at 1:21A and closing my eyes and thinking that I had at least slept an hour or so. As I opened one eye to glance at the clock it read, 1:24A. I wanted to scream. I was feeling anxious, Brian was snoring (which he never does but his allergies were horrible and we didn't have his medication.), I could hear noises in our room, the sheets just didn't smell like home, and I just had a lot on my mind. So I spent a good part of the night just praying, thinking about sleeping in the bath tub (which would eliminate the snoring), and just watching the clock. I felt like I was watching a pot of water boil. It just would not start moving. I even got out of bed to get my mobile phone and make sure the hotel clock was working. So finally at 4:30A I decided to get up and start my day. 7A we went down to a table set for 2 and our breakfast fresh on the table. I was in heaven... I cannot remember the last time I ate a hot breakfast. Our drive to the courthouse was interesting as it was snowing and the traffic was horrendous. We arrived and I felt my stomach turn. First, I met with the attorneys to go over some questions. I just felt like my heart was racing... what were they going to ask me? What was I going to say? What was the courtroom going environment going to be like? Before I knew it I was outside the courtroom on a hard wooden bench. My butt kept falling asleep... it was not an ideal waiting area. So as I waited I pulled out... GUESS... Beth Moore. As usual it started to speak... "We tend to detach from sights and situations that make us feel badly about ourselves - especially when we feel powerless." This quote just captured my emotions as I sat clutching my study book with sweaty hands. I felt like I just wanted to run out of the court house and never think about it again. Then, I realized that I didn't sign up to live an easy life... I decided I wanted a purposeful one instead. I knew what I knew and no one could change that. I prayed for confidence and the words I needed. Thank you to all of you who were also praying!!! Our prayers were answered. I was the second witness to be called. I felt so nervous and uncomfortable I felt like I wanted to start giggling. Have you ever been in the most serious, scary place and all you felt like doing is belting out into a belly laugh? Thank God I did not laugh or even smile for that matter. The questioning went well... the defense was really tough on me, but I took it slow. I felt as if the entire courtroom could hear my knees as they were knocking behind the witness stand. It is an overwhelming experience. I was on the stand for about 30 minutes and was free to leave after I finished. As I walked out of that courtroom I felt like I just wanted to shake like a wet dog and let my stress just float off my shoulders. God has answered so many prayers... the baby, my testifying is over, and next Brian got an email about a possible job.


So afterward we went to pick up our kiddos and drive home. It was a REALLY long drive. The kids were screaming or as I like to refer to it as singing loudly. I just wanted to get home and crawl into bed!! I finally got the kids to bed, but I just had to share a little something before my head hit my pillow for eternity or so I am dreaming. Thank you again to all of you that have been praying for me!!